At this very moment, L is wearing a superhero cape and licking his arm. Barney is singing in the background (I didn’t know Barney was still around), E is getting set up the scrabble board for us to play a game, and B has rode his bike to a friend’s house to play.
Life is good.
I sat on the deck with my sweet hubby the other night, and we had a rare night of lots of conversation, talk about dreams, our home, our kids, our jobs. He had gone inside for a moment and I sat, looking out into the yard, reflecting. It was just one of those beautiful moments that you are completely present and totally aware of just how amazing this life is. I looked at my wrought iron table, our empty glasses resting on it, the solar globes softly lit in the corner of the deck, the moon and stars shining down upon the hush of the yard in the night. No texting, no Facebook, no glow of electronic applications interrupting us. It was just us and the sky and the yard and our dreams… our beautiful boys all snug and safe in their cozy beds inside and absolutely nothing more pressing upon us than whether or not we should really head to bed.
That song, “You’re Going To Miss This” came into my head. The one by Trace Atkins where he talks about just how fast it flies by. I spent so long being so excited to grow up, have babies, be a mommy… and then I did, and when E and B were babies, life was a straight whirlwind of insanity. We were poor, we were young, we had no idea what we wanted to be when we grew up…but we made it work. We loved our boys, juggled our jobs, and argued our way through the first few years until we finally figured out how to communicate, and even more importantly, figured out how to let things go. To pick what really mattered and drop the rest. The drop-the-rest part was the most important thing, I think. Focus on what matters… your spouse, your kids, your health, your family… the rest is disposable. There will always be another bill to pay, the air conditioner will always break, your kids will always need haircuts. But that man that you love? Those kids that make your insides burst with the sweet goodness of them? Those are the things that deserve your attention.
I am going to miss this. I already do. I already miss my E’s sweet little boy voice, my B’s desire to let me read to him. I miss SO MUCH already. But I also know how very good I have it, too. I am so glad that I can view this picture from outside the frame sometimes, even if it’s just for a moment.
Goodnight, my friends. My boy and his Scrabble board are waiting for me. And that is a moment this mama can’t miss.