Going to miss this July 26, 2012

At this very moment, L is wearing a superhero cape and licking his arm.  Barney is singing in the background (I didn’t know Barney was still around), E is getting set up the scrabble board for us to play a game, and B has rode his bike to a friend’s house to play.

Life is good.

Very good.

I sat on the deck with my sweet hubby the other night, and we had a rare night of lots of conversation, talk about dreams, our home, our kids, our jobs.  He had gone inside for a moment and I sat, looking out into the yard, reflecting.  It was just one of those beautiful moments that you are completely present and totally aware of just how amazing this life is.  I looked at my wrought iron table, our empty glasses resting on it, the solar globes softly lit in the corner of the deck, the moon and stars shining down upon the hush of the yard in the night.   No texting, no Facebook, no glow of electronic applications interrupting us.  It was just us and the sky and the yard and our dreams… our beautiful boys all snug and safe in their cozy beds inside and absolutely nothing more pressing upon us than whether or not we should really head to bed.

That song, “You’re Going To Miss This” came into my head.  The one by Trace Atkins where he talks about just how fast it flies by.  I spent so long being so excited to grow up, have babies, be a mommy… and then I did, and when E and B were babies, life was a straight whirlwind of insanity.  We were poor, we were young, we had no idea what we wanted to be when we grew up…but we made it work.  We loved our boys, juggled our jobs, and argued our way through the first few years until we finally figured out how to communicate, and even more importantly, figured out how to let things go.  To pick what really mattered and drop the rest.  The drop-the-rest part was the most important thing, I think.  Focus on what matters… your spouse, your kids, your health, your family… the rest is disposable.  There will always be another bill to pay, the air conditioner will always break, your kids will always need haircuts.  But that man that you love?  Those kids that make your insides burst with the sweet goodness of them?  Those are the things that deserve your attention.

I am going to miss this.  I already do.  I already miss my E’s sweet little boy voice, my B’s desire to let me read to him.  I miss SO MUCH already.  But I also know how very good I have it, too.  I am so glad that I can view this picture from outside the frame sometimes, even if it’s  just for a moment.

Goodnight, my friends.  My boy and his Scrabble board are waiting for me.  And that is a moment this mama can’t miss.

Surprise date night May 14, 2011

My hidden blessing today is a night alone with my husband!! Not completely alone, but just us and Little One, which is really exciting. Alone time for the just the two of us is too rare… last fall, when I first started having my Fridays off, Fridays was a fun us-day, when it was just us and Little One. It kind of felt like we were young again… back when it was just us and the baby… only this time around we have enough money to go out for lunch at a microbrewery instead of ramen noodles and Leinenkugels eaten over the hand-me-down coffee table in our apartment. But those Friday lunches quickly got absorbed by doctor’s appointments, grocery store trips and other errands and that extra day became my get-everything-done day. Unfortunately, this also meant that my husband and I’s quiet “us” time went right out the window.

Today we celebrated B’s birthday with a party in the backyard. Originally I was rather disappointed that 3 of the 7 boys we invited couldn’t make it, and I was actually a little worried about whether we had enough kids at the party. But like most things in life, everything happens for a reason. We had so much loud, raucous, manic BOY ENERGY that we could barely keep it in check. The “wounded soldier” game was the best… each team sent out a soldier to run to the crest at the back of our yard and lay down. Then the teammates ran out, wrapped up their wounded soldier in toilet paper and lifted him onto his gurney (i.e. beach towel) and carry him back to safety. But it quickly became teepee-the-house and drag-the-soldier-by-his-feet-until-he-has-grass-stains-on-his-butt. Then we had random children running into the house by themselves searching for their prizes and B in tears because his missile-balloon wouldn’t blow up… ahhh, sometimes I think the $150 Chuck E Cheese ticket is worth leaving all the stress behind – but there’s something to be said for creativity and backyard fun, too.

When the last boy was picked up, the kids begged his mom to let B have a sleepover. I happily obliged, because E is at a sleepover tonight too, and I knew B would be sad being home without him (especially on his birthday-party weekend!). But after he was gone I realized that this is actually an opportunity for a great date night! After the baby goes to bed, we will grill some steaks and crack open a bottle of wine. Rent a movie, snuggle on the couch… ahh, heaven. I am blessed indeed.

I hope your night is as wonderful as the one ahead of me!! Goodnight, my friends!