Peace. Love. Gentleness.
This is all I know how to do, to try to offset the horror that befell our nation a few short days ago. Speak softly. Kiss my children’s sweet sleeping faces at night before I tiptoe out of their rooms. Gaze out into the backyard and look up at the starry sky. Remember that there have been other tragedies, too. Breathe deeply. Trust. Close my eyes and ears to the constant media coverage. Reading it again and again only intensifies the sorrow; more details don’t make the tragedy any greater or any less. Unplug from society’s chatter. Really look at my beautiful children, and tell them I love them. Spend time talking to them, enjoying them, soaking them in. Put down my fears. Rest.
I went to church on Sunday. It has been a long time since I’ve been there. But I went because I needed to feel comfort. I needed to remember I am a child of God, and be surrounded by others who share my beliefs. Together we are stronger than alone. I needed to put some perspective on this season, to remember the reason that we are celebrating Christmas in the first place. To remember that Christ was born to save us. There is no evil in the world, not even a psychotic school shooter, who can conquer God. We will be ok. Our hearts are broken and grieving with the families in Connecticut; we are now fearful to send our children to their schools where we thought they were safe, but in the end, God is still with us.
At night, when I lay in bed, I hold a space for God. I ask him to come into this space, where I will be quiet, I will just listen. My soul hears what my ears and mind cannot.
All is calm…
This is a month of many fears, many tragedies. Is there something in the air that is causing so much chaos and fear? Something that’s not tangible, something we can’t see, but we are feeling in our hearts? I wrote some time ago about letting go and giving it to God. Having faith. Trusting in God. This is the most important thing, I think. My beliefs have changed and evolved many times over the years, but right now, I’m circling back to my earliest Christian beliefs. I was taught at a very young age that Satan wants to steal us away from God, to cause us to turn our faces from him. He wants to tempt us into serving Ego, Selfishness, Greed and Fear.
I also learned that when the end of the world was near, Jesus would come from Heaven and save all of those who believed in Him. What if… the horrors we are experiencing, the fears that are continuously being introduced to us, the warnings and the alarms and the dangers… are truly a test of our faith and trust in Him? A temptation of Satan, to cause us to lose our faith, our trust… our joy?
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
All is bright…
I look around at all the beautiful lights of the season. The twinkling of lights on the tree in my home, the soft glow of the tiny white candle I lit in remembrance, the homes on the streets that sparkle in all their holiday beauty.
I will be a light in the darkness.
This darkness that has put a cloud over the world may be large, but it’s not large enough to extinguish the light of the good in the world. There are too many blessings, too much laughter, and too much belief in the power of Love for darkness to ever conquer. Believe in this. Have faith in this. Look deep into your heart and listen to what your soul knows to be true. Trust.
We are loved. We are safe. The essence of what is really truly us cannot be harmed by anything, anything¸ on earth. We existed before we were born. We will exist when we no longer walk this earth. There is no weapon, no chemical, no illness, no person who can ever change that. And the same is true for our love. This time spent on earth is just one rest stop on much bigger travels.
1 Corinthians 13:6-7
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Merry Christmas to you my friends. I wish you love, and comfort and peace… true, soul-soothing peace.. this Christmas. Shalom.