“It can’t rain forever.”
My favorite blog site had this posted in a picture, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Her posts, which are regarding the struggles her young child is going through, always inspire me. It was her blog site, in fact, that prompted me to come here and begin my own. If she can move me every day, if I am taking the time out of each day just to see what she’s got to say, perhaps I have something that someone out there might be interested in as well.
Today I have been smoke free for two days. Not a big feat, that. Not really, anyway, but I still feel a twinge of pride that tomorrow will be three days. I’ve heard that by day twelve the cravings stop. To be 100% honest, I have never really struggled with that. Which is why I have no idea why I continued to smoke except that I just genuinely like to do it. The problem is that I have my babies, and I don’t want them to grow up thinking that it is ok, or normal. And I don’t want them to be that person who stinks, or who is embarrassed to have others in their car, or that people look down on. I don’t want them to smoke, period.
But even more importantly, I don’t want my children to be in the position of my brother-in-law right now. His father, who is probably in his late fifties, was admitted to the hospital on Friday with pneumonia. They did an x-ray and found a mass in his chest, and then followed the x-ray with a CT scan. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer on Saturday, and they talked of starting chemotherapy today. I don’t want my children to be that young man in the room listening as he hears this devastating news about his parent. I am tired of feeling like this choice that I make, to smoke, will very likely be something that I horrifically regret some day. So I’m changing it. I want to be the girl that doesn’t smoke – that just did it, just QUIT.
My blessings were abundant today. To begin with, my darling little one woke up at almost 4 in the morning running a fever of 103. This meant I got to stay home with him today, and any day that I am home with my children is a gift in and of itself. He took a long nap this morning, and this in turn meant that I got a long nap too – hooray!! I’m such an addict of naps.
I also got some cleaning done today, vacuumed the glass off the deck after the hail storm the other day (hadn’t realized that the hail had shattered the lights on my deck, and the glass was too tiny to be able to sweep), and got to read a little bit. I wish all my days could be like this, minus the fever of course. And after all of that, he laid in my arms and we snuggled and watched tv for over an hour. THAT is a blessing – I can truly say he has never, ever snuggled for that long. Right now he is snuggling with his daddy, drinking Pedialyte, and SINGING at the top of his lungs to his pacifier. That little voice is so precious.
As this is my first post, I think I will sign off for now. I may be back later – let me see what other blessings I can find tonight and I will share soon. Hugs and blessings to all of you. Goodnight!